Sexual meditation is a practice of joining with your Beloved in a sexual manner for the purpose of entering into the presence of Oneness, both individually and together. During this extraordinary Tantra experience, called Maithuna, it is said that the creative force within us merges with pure consciousness, that the essences of feminine and masculine blend in an alchemical fusion that renders each whole, complete and ecstatic. It is said to require years of training for both partners.
Certainly a deep understanding of the dynamics of energy can intensify and expand the experience. However, like any art or spiritual program, sexual meditation can be learned in the doing of it. And anyone can do it! With training and practice, the benefits and pleasure grow. What is required at the beginning is simply a willingness on the part of both partners. Other qualities, such as humor, patience, delight and sexual openness also come in handy!
While sexual meditation can be entered into directly with no physical foreplay or stimulation, at first it may be easier to accomplish at the beginning of intercourse, before the male partner has had his ejaculation. A prior orgasm experienced by the female partner enhances the experience. (This “easy sexual meditation” can be accomplished even without an erection!)
To enter into “easy sexual meditation” during love making:
- Select music that encourages inner focus. Experiment to find something that both of you like. Using the same music repetitively will be an aid to setting the mood for meditation. Avoid radio stations or fast-paced rhythms. Silence is wonderful.
- Be sure there is enough illumination so that you can softly gaze into each other’s eyes.
- A seated position, woman on man’s lap, is best but not required. Start with whatever position feels comfortable for you! Erection may be lost in the transition to sexual meditation. If the penis slips out of the vagina, it can be “stuffed” back in. Lubrication helps. Or the penis can remain outside of the vagina, resting against the outer lips and clitoris. Firmness is not necessary. Both partners internally squeeze and release their own sexual muscles, bringing energy to the genital area.
- Stop moving or caressing, allow your passion to settle down into quietness. In sexual meditation there is no “doing” of one another. Your bodies stay sensual yet still, allowing you to pay attention to your inner universe. Spontaneous movements may occur from time to time as the energy moves through you.
- Maintaining eye contact, take a deep breath through your nose, and let the exhale escape through your mouth.
- Continuing to maintain eye contact, place your attention in your genitals. As you take a deep breath, imagine that the breath is going directly into your sexual organs, filling and expanding them. Maintaining eye contact, hold your breath for a moment, containing this powerful energy in your genitals. Then release the breath through your mouth. Do this together, three times. Continue gazing into each other’s eyes as you breathe normally, internally acknowledging and welcoming the sharing of your sexual energy.
- Bring your attention to your “heart center”, the area of your chest centered between and behind your breasts, inside your rib cage. Maintaining eye contact, take a deep breath, hold it for a moment as your “heart center” fills up, and then exhale. Look softly into your Beloved’s eyes, and feel your love for one another. Do this together, three times. Allow your Beloved to look into your eyes, as you breathe normally, experiencing the meaning of intimacy as “in-to-me-see”, letting the healing presence of love surround you.
Alternate between steps 6 and 7 for fifteen minutes. Be as distinct as you can. You can say aloud to each other the word “sex” as you move your attention to the genitals, and “heart” when you shift to the heart center. This helps to keep you synchronized, in union with one another. Sometimes you may say “sex” when your partner says “heart”! Always remember the importance of patience, humor, delight and open communication.
After “easy sexual meditation”, you might want to return to more active love making. Or you may wish to bring the session to a close, slowly separating from one another as you maintain eye contact. Each of you place your left hand on your own heart center, and cover your partner’s hand with your right hand on their heart.
Honor one another for sharing this meditation together. While at first there may be no tangible experience that you can point to, continue to do the practice and be open to what occurs. Feel free to contact us for further advice!