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Are you listening?

Intimacy Retreats / Love Notes  / Are you listening?

Are you listening?

 

You probably thought this would be about listening to your PARTNER. That’s certainly VERY important!

However, what we say, and how we listen, to ourselves is even MORE important!

So, what is it that you say to yourself all day long? How do you treat yourself? Are you kind and loving? Do you give yourself compliments? Do you admire yourself? Do you have compassion for yourself? Do you give yourself the “benefit of the doubt?”

Do you ever really listen to yourself?

Maybe you constantly judge and criticize yourself. Maybe you repeatedly point out your “mistakes,” and berate and reprimand yourself. Maybe you tell yourself  – in a million different ways – that you are simply not “good enough.”

What you say to yourself really matters. It matters not just for your own health and well being, but also for your relationship.

As Richard Moon (author, Extraordinary Listening), says, “Our communication with ourselves creates our state of being. Our communication with others, which creates the quality of our relationships, is based on our state of being.”

Our “state of being” – what’s that? It’s how we feel, how we think. It’s the energy that we radiate around us. It’s the core of who we are at any moment. If our state of being is diminished, because we’ve been beating ourselves up, then that’s how we show up in our relationship. We might “beat up” our partner.. speak to them harshly, dump onto them the frustrations with ourselves that we’ve been listening to in our own mind.

When our state of being is relaxed and radiant, we show up as love.

Most of the time, we’re not even aware of what we are saying to ourselves. Take some time to listen to your thoughts, your comments about yourself. If they’re less than loving, change the conversation. Start telling yourself how perfect you are, how amazing. Build up your own self-confidence and celebrate yourself.

It will change how you relate to everyone else.

Also see: “Jumping from Judgment to Love“.

Diana Daffner

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